Magnetic Intimacy
In the Taoist tradition, it is said that all things in life contain yin and yang energies.
Some prefer feminine and masculine, although I don’t resonate with these labels as much, because it’s easy for people to confuse this with gender. I’ve personally been drawn to using “lunar” (yin/feminine) and “solar” (yang/masculine).
We all have both qualities within—most of us, vibrating more than the other, fluctuating moment by moment. Although they are considered polar opposites, both elements understand that they cannot function without the other, they are complementary to each other. When we have a balance of both, we feel whole.
When it comes to sexual energy, each individual tends to lean towards one polarity over the other. The key to magnetic sex and intimacy is engaging with a partner who leans in the opposite polarity. Typically, a female identifying body will feel more lunar energy, and a male identifying body more solar. But again, this can vary.
Lunar-Feminine-Yin
As I become more in tune with my sexuality, I’ve noticed I’m naturally comfortable in a lunar energy state. This is a flowy, intuitive, surrendered energy that works from the outside, in. Physically, the heart center is the positive pole of this energetic polarity.
In my experience, I need some sort of outside stimulation like texting, energy play or non-genital touch before feeling really turned on. I’ve found when my partner focuses on stimulating my heart energy, I become more open, and in turn, my orgasmic potential blooms.
I like to use the metaphor of a cat (heh). Most cats won’t let you pick them up whenever you feel like it, they need a little caressing, some soft gentle touches before you cuddle up. Or you can look at it through the elements. Lunar energy is like water; it needs a slow, steady burn to come to a boil.
QUALITIES
✣ Softening
✣ Vulnerable
✣ Opening
✣ Flow
✣ Surrender
✣ Grounded
✣ Darkness
✣ Water
✣ Calm
✣ Creativity
✣ Intuition
✣ Sleep
The key to lunar-feminine pleasure is through the heart.
Solar-Masculine-Yang
Solar energy, on the other hand, is more focused, direct, and straight to the source. This energy flows from the inside, out. For many people in this energy, straight to genital contact turns them on immediately. Physically, the sex center is considered the positive pole. If you fall in this polarity, it is important to remember that your lunar partner may need more time to get turned on. Be patient!
Solar energy is the space holder, the framework for lunar energy to flow, be creative, and go wild. Going back to the elements, solar energy is quite literally sun source and is more like the element of fire. But remember, lunar energy likes to heat up slowly (usually), so take your time. Slow down, breath, enjoy witnessing the building of pleasure in your partner as they heat up naturally.
QUALITIES
✤ Guiding
✤ Present
✤ Witness
✤ Penetrative
✤ Driven
✤ Goal-oriented
✤ Power
✤ Dominant
✤ Light
✤ Universe
✤ Awake
Passionate, primal & wild sex usually occurs when one person is in one pole & the other in the opposite.
Of course, some people can flow either way, and this can change day by day. Lunar and solar are magnetic poles. Passionate, primal, and wild sex usually occur when one person is in one pole, and the other person in the opposite.
We can also apply this to intimacy and having conscious conversations with those we love. One person holds space and listens (solar) while the other speaks freely and intuitively (lunar), then switching the roles.
In our day to day lives, we all know rest and sleep are essential, as well as moments of play and creativity. In terms of energy, this can be considered lunar (feminine). We also know that it is important take action and structure around our lives to get to where we are going. This is more solar (masculine).
It’s important to note, the qualities listed above are examples of healthy embodiments of each polarity, and these qualities can sometimes show up in unhealthy ways. For example solar energy can come across as controlling, cold, aggressive, and overly competitive. Unhealthy lunar energy can show up as clingy, insecure, obsessive or easily manipulated.
Again, these behavioral traits can show up in any gender. If any of these sound like you, take a step back and actively engage in activities that will stimulate the opposite polarity. Communicate with your partner about how you can create a safe container for intimacy and sexual play.
These energy qualities can absolutely be applied to anything in life; relationship, love, art, career, physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health…the list goes on. It’s all about balance. I know personally, this is an ongoing awareness and journey for myself. So be kind to yourself, you are on your own unique path.
Self Inquiry
Which energy are you naturally flowing with in your life right now?
How can you apply this new understanding to your life?
What activity or practice can you engage with to find more inner balance?
